The Angels Within Us
by TheLovelyRusher
Summary: When Kendall is involved in a serious accident, the boys go through things they never thought they'd ever face. Can they be strong for Kendall?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hey peoples! This is actually a request from my other story collection, "Sweet Dreams and Angsty Things" but I decided to make this into a 2-shot, possibly more if you want to read more in-depth. It's up to you guys! You can thank my awesome reader Anna for this. Rated T for blood and gore and not so happy themes.**

Carlos, James, Logan and Kendall used to play street hockey nearly every day in Minnesota. The town they lived in wasn't exactly bustling and it's not like the streets were very busy, so it was relatively safe for 4 teenagers to be playing in those streets. But they weren't in Minnesota anymore, they were in LA.

"Ok boys," Kendall said as he and his friends strapped on their roller skates in the PalmWoods Park parking lot. "2 against 2, fight to the death, grisly hockey match."

"I vote we don't die," Logan said in a squirrely voice, raising his hand. Kendall rolled his eyes at his scared friend.

"I wasn't being serious, Logan. Me and Carlitos-" Kendall patted the boy's helmeted head. "Against James and Logan. Losers have to lick a tree."

James and Logan groaned but Carlos giggled because that boy would lick anything and like it.

"Now, what are our team names?" Kendall continued. It was tradition that they make up the weirdest names for the opposing teams.

"The Raging Monkeys," James and Logan said. Obviously they had been planning that one.

"Fine. Purple Unicorns," Kendall said. The Unicorns groaned. "Are we ready boys?"

"Ready!" Carlos exclaimed, picking up his hockey stick.

"Good. And not passing the puck is punishable by tickle fight," Kendall said, directing that last comment towards Carlos, who had a habit of never passing the puck. This game was no different. 30 minutes in, The Purple Unicorns were winning by 4 points because Carlos kept forgetting to pass the puck. If they didn't make this last shot, they would lose.

"Carlos! Pass me the dang puck or I'm tickling you to death," Kendall warned.

Carlos giggled. "Whoops! Sorry!" Just as Carlos was about to shoot the puck to Kendall, Logan swooped in and stole it, ready to hit it towards The Raging Monkeys Goal.

"You're going down, Knight!" James said with a grin.

"Yeah right, Raging Monkeys can't be beat!" Kendall said, returning the grin. He loved his friends and he loved competing with them.

Carlos let out some kind of weird monkey call and stole the puck back from Logan. Just as he was about to shoot it into The Purple Unicorns goal, James checked Carlos and shot the puck straight into the busy street.

James, Logan and Carlos figured the game was in time-out until it was safe to retrieve the puck. But Kendall had a bad habit. He got a little too involved in competition until it clouded his judgment, and all he could think of was winning the game. So it didn't even register with the tall blonde that it would be dangerous to skate into the street just so they could continue playing.

"Kendall, whoa what are you doing?" James yelled, watching his friend skate the short distance to the street.

"Kendall, stop!" Carlos shrieked, already racing towards the inevitable disaster.

Logan's heart dropped to his stomach in a panic when he realized that Kendall didn't even see the bright blue BMW coming towards him at 40 miles per hour. He heard the driver throw on his brakes so hard the tires screeched but it didn't help. The front end slammed into Kendall's thin frame, sending him flying into the air and tumbling onto the roof of the car, than he slammed down hard on the solid asphalt.

"Oh my God, Kendall!" Logan cried, running towards the scene of the accident with James and Carlos right behind him. Logan's stomach churned when he saw the gruesome sight. Kendall's head was split open and his arm was at an awkward angle. He saw a flash of white and realized right away that it was a compound fracture. The bone was sticking clear out of his forearm. The driver stepped out of the car in hysterics, sobbing that she was sorry, but Logan ignored her.

"Don't let him look!" Logan turned to James and shoved Carlos into the taller boy's arms. The sight was too sickening for the youngest boy to handle. "Call 911, James, hurry!"

James held a sobbing Carlos in one arm and dialed 911 in the other while Logan knelt next to his bloody best friend, trying to think of what to do but it was hard. It was like a nightmare. Kendall lay on the red-stained pavement but he wasn't still, he was twitching and shuddering. Logan knew right away he was unconscious and he had a head injury causing him to have a small seizure. Blood poured from his scalp, staining his blonde locks a dark red. His face was almost unrecognizable underneath all the blood. His nose was crooked and his lip had a hole in it, as if he bit it on impact.

"Don't move him!" Logan yelled when a witness trying to help went to touch Kendall. "Just give him space." Logan tried to cover Kendall's body protectively from all the people crowded around them. The seizure had ceased and at this moment, Logan had no idea if Kendall was dead or alive.

James was struggling to hold onto Carlos. They were a few feet's distance away and the little boy was desperate to see Kendall's body, but James refused. "It's ok buddy. Don't look, please don't look," James said, clutching the thrashing boy to his chest.

"Is he dead?" Carlos cried. His voice was heart-breaking and high pitched with pure terror. "I have to see him! James let go of me! Kendall! Why isn't he talking, James?"

Another witness ended up having to help James hold Carlos because James was falling apart as well. Kendall was now motionless, bleeding more than any human ever should. He felt sick to his stomach. The smell was horrible. Burnt rubber from the tires and a coppery smell of the red substance pouring out of Kendall's head invaded his nostrils. The screams and the sobs were out of a horror movie. And that was Kendall knight's body lying on the pavement, his leader and his best friend. Dead or alive, he didn't know.

Loud, ear-piercing sirens rushed towards them and suddenly he was being pushed away along with everybody else. Carlos was a sobbing, incoherent mess now but Logan was angry with denial. He refused to leave Kendall's side and James had to release Carlos to pry the small brunette away from Kendall.

"Come on buddy, the doctors are going to fix him now and we're going to meet him at the hospital." James lifted Logan by the shoulders and took one last look at his best friend's body before pulling Logan away.

Carlos was sitting on the sidewalk, knees to his chest and wailing. James wrapped a strong arm around the wrecked boy's chest and hauled him to his feet, than half dragged/half carried the small boys to the car. The tall boy made quick work of shoving them into the backseat. With shaking hands, he started the vehicle and tried to keep a clear head as he drove through thick traffic to the hospital. Surprisingly, James wasn't sobbing or panicking like he normally did in bad situations. Usually, Kendall was the level headed one but since Kendall was…

James shook his head as if to rid the sickening thoughts from his head. Kendall was alive, he had to be, and right now James had to be the strong one. He didn't have a choice. He just stayed silent and went through the motions because he had too, but he wouldn't break. Not yet.

When he finally arrived to at the hospital, he ushered his younger, shell-shocked friends into the waiting room and sat them down on the chairs. When he turned to go to the front desk, he felt 2 pair of hands grab his shirt. He turned around and leaned down to look Logan and Carlos in the eyes.

"I'm going to go see how Kendall's doing, I'll be right back. It's ok." James carefully pried their fingers from his shirt. Logan took Carlos into his arms and whispered encouraging words into his ear. James went up to the front desk.

"I'm here for Kendall Knight, he was just brought in. He's a-an accident victim," James said. It was so incredibly hard to get those words to leave his mouth. He just didn't want to believe them.

The nurse gave James a sympathetic look that he didn't like. It was too pitiful, like she knew something he didn't. "Are you immediate family?"

"I'm the closest thing he has to family, we live together. He's like my brother."

The nurse nodded. "We don't know much, sir. You're going to have to wait until his doctor comes out. If you just take seat-"

"Can you at least tell me if he's dead or not?" James asked through gritted teeth, balling his fists tightly. The nurse sighed.

"He was barely hanging on when he arrived, I'm sorry. I don't know anything else."

James just turned on his heel and went to join his friends. They looked up at him expectantly and he just shrugged. "They don't know anything, boys."

Logan patted the seat next to him, but James shook his head. There was no possible way he could sit down at a moment like this. He instead paced back and forth, chewing on his lip and fingernails nervously. It was the most grueling, painful 2 hours the boys had ever gone through. James repeatedly asked the nurse if Kendall was alright, but she refused to release any information. James finally sat next to Logan, exhausted emotionally and physically.

"I don't know how much longer I can take," Logan admitted. "Why won't they tell us anything?"

"That has to be a good thing, right?" Carlos asked, his voice raw from crying. Logan and James looked at him in surprise. It was the first words Carlos had said since the accident. "I mean, if they aren't telling us anything, it means they're still back there working on Kendall and he's alive."

"He's right," James said. "Kendall must be alive. He's gotta be."

Logan put his face in his hands. Yeah, he may be alive. But it was obvious he had a head injury, a bad one. Would he even ever be the same again? Would he even be _awake?_ It was a pretty good chance that he would be in a coma, possibly forever. Logan shuddered. Right now he was regretting ever learning so many facts about things like head injuries. He would much rather be innocently clueless like James and Carlos, who seemed certain that Kendall was ok. Or maybe they just had more faith then him.

Logan looked up when he felt a strong, comforting hand on his back and saw James peering down at him in concern. "Whatever happens, Logan, we'll be ok. I gotcha, Logie." Logan closed his eyes when James brought him in close to his chest for a hug, and Carlos wrapped his arms around his friends, joining in on the intimate embrace.

"Guys, look," Carlos whispered, pointing ahead of them. They pulled away from each other to see a serious-looking doctor approaching them. Deep breaths could be heard from each scared boy as they stood, readying themselves for the news of their big brother's fate.

**A/N Thanks for reading. I'll try to be quick with my updates! Remember, I have this planned as a two-shot but if you guys want anything huge to happen, please suggest it and I will consider it. Review? Pleasie? Love ya'll!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N So. I started this thing without a vision of what I wanted to happen and forgot about it, because I am a derf and that is what derfs do. BUT I made it one of my many New Year's Resolutions to update this thing and finish it. So here's an extra lil helping of angst to start off your New Year right, woohoo. For everyone who read, reviewed this, and hasn't abandoned hope on it, Kudos. Love ya'll!**

The Doctor approached the 3 young boys solemnly. Despair was etched on his features as he took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to have to explain to the children.

"Please," Logan said in broken whisper. His stomach twisted with fear, and he felt as if he might faint. That one simple word held more emotion than the Doctor had ever heard in his 30 year and counting career.

"Is he alive?" James asked. He felt Carlos shudder next to him and he wrapped his arms around the younger boy to let him know that he was there, that it would be ok, even if the worst were to happen. He straightened his shoulders, preparing for the terrifying and earth shattering words he just knew were about to leave the mouth of the doctor. He closed his eyes and waited, but they never came. Instead he heard,

"He's alive, boys. He made it. I don't know how, but he's alive. He didn't suffer any damage to his brain except for a bad concussion."

James felt a relief he never experienced before rush over his body. He felt like screaming in joy and then sobbing on the floor. But instead, he kept control over his composure because for some reason, he felt like the doctor had something else he had to tell them. Even Logan looked confused.

"But he had a seizure, I saw it. He hit his head so hard," Logan said. He didn't want to seem like he was doubting the doctor's diagnosis, and he was beyond thankful that he only had a concussion, but Logan knew that a head injury of that caliber did not come without difficulties. Something else could be lying beneath his diagnosis, something deadly. "There is no cerebral edema, not even a cracked skull? Bruising on the brain? You're telling us his brain is completely healthy aside from the concussion?"

The doctor nodded, but it was solemn. There was no doubt that he was hiding something from them, waiting for the right time to tell them.

"No, there is no long term damage to his brain. He had hit his head so hard it caused a seizure, which is actually common. He might be a little amnesic and confused for several days even, but other than that, the brain is healthy. Um, I'll tell you the rest of the extent of his injuries. He had a compound fracture in his right Humerus bone. It was a clean break, so we were able to set it properly and he'll regain full dexterity in several month's time, with plenty of physical therapy. Luckily, we got to it before infection set in but we have him on heavy antibiotics to keep infection away. He also dislocated his shoulder."

"What about his face?" Carlos suddenly interjected, anxious to find out what wrong with his face and why it had been bleeding so heavily. He cowered under the stern glances of James and Logan, who silently scolded him for interrupting the doctor.

"It's fine boys, I don't mind," the doctor told James and Logan. "We cleaned Kendall up and found that he bit his lip nearly off on impact, but we sewed it up and it should heal with very little scarring. He has road rash on the entire right side of his face, and I want to make sure you boys know that that side is unrecognizable at the moment. The left side of his face has mild road rash. He has a large gash on his forehead which again we stitched up and should heal up fine. He broke his nose and both of his eyes are black and blue because of it. It looks bad boys, but be assured it will heal. He won't look like that forever."

Logan nodded, trying to soak in everything the doctor was telling him. It was hard when his mind was bouncing everywhere. Really all he wanted to do was see Kendall, make sure he was ok with his own eyes. He needed to be with Kendall so badly.

"Oh my God," Jam es whispered upon hearing the news, and Carlos huddled into his side, scared.

"I need to see him," Logan choked out, his voice raw with emotion. "C-can I see him? Is there anything else we should know?"

"You can see him," the doctor said, rubbing at his gray hair nervously. He adjusted his glasses and bit his lip, trying to find the right words to tell the young boys. "But just be prepared, besides from all of his facial injuries, he is in a coma."

The 3 teenagers stared at the doctor, wondering if they heard right. Logan coughed, trying to hold back a sob. James put his hand on the smaller boy's shivering back and gave the doctor a questioning look. He had no idea what any of this meant. He was only 17, he had never had to deal with anything like this before.

"A coma?" James asked, struggling to keep his voice steady. "When will he wake up?"

"I don't know son," the doctor admitted. "We see hundreds of head injuries. Usually it's the things that Logan was speaking about earlier that can kill a patient, but we have seen several cases where the patient hits his head with such force that it puts them in a coma and they… They don't wake up. I just want to make sure you boys know all the scenarios. I don't mean to scare you. But it's a possibility."

"Wait, you're saying it's a possibility that my brother might never wake up?" Carlos asked, hurt and fear evident in his innocent voice. Tears streamed from his mocha eyes and down his chubby, flushed cheeks. James held him tighter, trying to comfort the scared boy.

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose and took deep, calming breaths, careful not to have a complete breakdown in the middle of the waiting room. His entire body felt like it was shaking uncontrollably and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. "What can we do to wake him up?" He asked, even though, as a doctor in training himself, he knew there wasn't anything a doctor or anybody could do to wake a coma victim up. It was up to the patient and nobody else.

"I'm sorry, boys. There is nothing we can do but keep him comfortable. He'll wake up when he's ready," the doctor said.

"But he will wake up though, right?" Carlos asked. He looked at Logan and James for desperate assurance, but they avoided his gaze. Carlos started to cry because of this. He trusted his brothers, they knew everything. They were able to fix everything. But even they looked hopeless this time.

"You boys may see him now, he's in room 202," the doctor said sorrowfully. He looked at the crying boy with pity in his eyes. Carlos stood there awkwardly, wiping at his eyes and sniffling until James took his wrist and pulled him along down the hall to where Kendall lay.

**A/N Sorry that was so short! But now we knew exactly what's wrong with Kendall. I have plans for this story, I WILL finish this! So what did ya'll think? Should I continue? Drop me a review! Thanks so much for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I just want to give a giant shout-out to Twisted Illusions for putting up with my weirdo brain and helping me figure this thing out! Huge props to her, without her this story would be in the trash. But instead she gave me an epiphany and came up with the gorgeous idea to make James feel guilty, which is just perfect because my favorite thing to do is make that kid feel guilty. So make sure you thank my good friend Courtney and check out her stories! She has a really good one called "Tears of an Angel" which is a James cancer fic, and it's amazing, plus she is amazing so go check it out! Thanks Courtney!**

_"You're going down, Knight!" James said with a grin._

_"Yeah right, Raging Monkeys can't be beat!" Kendall said, returning the grin. He loved his friends and he loved competing with them._

_Carlos let out some kind of weird monkey call and stole the puck back from Logan. Just as he was about to shoot it into The Purple Unicorns goal, James checked Carlos and shot the puck straight into the busy street._

_James, Logan and Carlos figured the game was in time-out until it was safe to retrieve the puck. But Kendall had a bad habit. He got a little too involved in competition until it clouded his judgment, and all he could think of was winning the game. So it didn't even register with the tall blonde that it would be dangerous to skate into the street just so they could continue playing._

_"Kendall, whoa what are you doing?" James yelled, watching his friend skate the short distance to the street._

_"Kendall, stop!" Carlos shrieked, already racing towards the inevitable disaster._

The panicked voices rang and echoed in James' ears, followed by the ear-splitting sound of tires screeching on asphalt and metal hitting bone. With that, the flashback ended as abruptly as it had started, and James broke into tears, feeling sick with shock and grief. His knees felt wobbly, his head spun sickeningly. His body felt cold and he had to look anywhere but in front of him, anywhere but at the lifeless, gruesome body that laid there because of _his_ mistake.

"James! It's ok, he's alive," Logan said loudly, trying to get the tall boys attention. James yelled out Kendall's name and backed up in a daze, refusing to see what was right in front of him. He couldn't look at what he did. He wanted to scream, he wanted to throw up. It was too much for him.

James slowly backed up until his back came in contact with a wall, and he sank down to his knees. His legs were unable to hold him any longer, and he let crippling sobs overcome his body, unaware that his friends were in the same room as him. His moments of being strong were fleeting. He couldn't hold it together for the younger boys anymore and it felt as if he was losing his mind. He lost it as soon as his eyes came in contact with the maimed body that was supposed to be his best friend, his big brother.

If James had never gotten too greedy, too into the game, he would have never checked Carlos and knocked the puck as far as he could get it. All his mind was on at the moment was winning that stupid, meaningless game, and now Kendall was paying for it.

James heard the words "He's dying, he's dying" being repeated over and over again. He never even realized that he was the one chanting the disheartening words, terrifying Carlos because of it.

"Carlos, stay with Kendall," Logan instructed. He felt uneasy leaving Carlos alone with Kendall. He knew the young boy was too light hearted to be able to handle being alone with him, but Logan needed to do something about Kendall. The smart grabbed James by the arm and dragged him to his feet and led him outside, where a cool, fresh breeze awaited them.

"James you need to snap out of it," Logan said tearfully. "You're scaring Carlos and you're scaring me too Jamie, please stop."

James let out a sob, his knees shaking, and Logan led him to an empty bench beneath a tree. He hoped that having James away from Kendall and outside in the fresh air would calm him down a bit and get a hold on reality.

"Logan what's happening?" James sobbed. Logan frowned sympathetically and leaned over James, wrapping his arm securely around the tall boy's quivering shoulders and burying his face in his long, dark hair.

"Sshh, it's ok. Just let it out," Logan said, feeling James come undone in his arms. The poor boy sobbed harshly for several minutes, latching onto Logan as if the smaller boy was the only thing that was keeping him alive. Logan rocked him and comforted him patiently, waiting as long as it would take until James cried it all out of his system.

"Are you alright now?" Logan asked compassionately when James' sobs died down a bit. He stroked back James' long locks from his face and wiped away the flood of tears on his scarlet cheeks.

"I can't get it out of my head," James choked out. "I have never seen someone look like that before. There so much blood, all over Kendall and the street and the car. I can't even tell if that's my older brother in there, Logan. And I just see the accident replaying over and over again, I see Kendall's body fly up into the air and hit the ground, and the sounds that followed and I can still see and smell all of it. It's a nightmare, Logan. I am so scared right now…" James ended his rant with another heartbreaking sob.

"I'm scared too James," Logan said, and James looked up to see Logan's eyes filled to the brim with hot tears.

"Logie I'm sorry," James squeaked, throwing himself against Logan's small body. Logan held him there and rocked him and stroked his hair, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear to calm him.

"Don't be sorry, you did nothing wrong," Logan cooed, but this only made James freeze up in shock in his arms. "James? Buddy, what is it? Are you ok?"

"No," James cried, feeling dizzy again just as he had inside the hospital. His stomach churned uncomfortably and he moaned.

"Tell me what's wrong, James," Logan said, placing a hand on James' warm cheek.

"I feel sick," James whispered. Logan could do nothing but watch as he doubled over, his arms around his middle and his chest to his knees. He leaned over the edge of the bench and threw up everything he had been struggling to hold in.

"Oh, James… It's ok bro, you're alright," Logan cooed. He rubbed James' back and let the grief-stricken boy throw-up in the grass, ignoring the startled glares from on-lookers. "You're ok James, it's normal for a body to react this way from shock."

James moaned. "I don't feel good," he said, wiping the back of his mouth with his hand. Logan wiped the sweat from James' brow and lowered his hand to rub his shoulders.

"I know buddy. Here's what I need you to do, ok? I need you to go to the restroom and wash up, then go on in the cafeteria and get yourself some water and try to calm down ok? I need to check on Carlos really quick. I'll meet you in the cafeteria and we'll talk through this. Can you do that for me?"

James nodded, though he wasn't keen on being left alone right now. Logan ushered him inside and that was where they went on temporary separate ways. Logan hurried down the hall to Kendall's room. Carlos was sitting on one of the chairs next to Kendall, staring at him as if he would disappear if he so much as blinked.

"Hey Carlos," Logan said softly.

"Oh, Logan. Hey. He didn't wake up," Carlos said, innocently stating the obvious.

"I know buddy," Logan said sadly.

"Where's James?" Carlos asked, scanning the room with panicked eyes.

"He's in the cafeteria, getting something to drink. Come on let's go see him, I need to talk to you guys."

Carlos glanced nervously back at Kendall's comatose body and subconsciously inched closer to him. "But I can't leave him, Logan."

"Come here 'Litos," Logan said, outstretching his arm so Carlos could take his arm. "We need to all sit down and breathe before we go insane. This is going to be hard and we need to talk about it. We'll come right back to Kendall I promise. He always made sure we had a plan no matter what the situation and right now, we need a plan."

Reluctantly, Carlos left Kendall's side and grabbed Logan's fingers in his, fully trusting the young genius because he didn't know what to do right now.

"Where's James? I don't see him," Carlos said anxiously. He clung onto Logan's arm like a little boy would to their father, peering over the crowd of people in the cafeteria to find James' head in the mix of people. But so far, nobody looked remotely like James.

"He's got to be here somewhere," Logan said distractedly. He searched every table more than once, but there was no sign of him.

"Come on, he must still be in the bathroom," Logan said, tugging Carlos by the arm. They checked the large restroom, but it was empty.

"Where is he?" Carlos said in a high pitched voice, his scrunching together in concern.

"I don't know," Logan mumbled. He felt his heart skip a beat. On any other day, he would have thought nothing about being separated from James but today was anything but normal. They needed each other. And he was worried that James may have acted reckless in his state of emotional vulnerability. Logan cursed himself for leaving James alone when he wasn't in the right state of mind.

"Let's check the cafeteria again," Logan said. He pulled Carlos with one hand and typed out a quick text message to James in the other. The cafeteria was busy with tons of people but not one of them was James.

"Logan," Carlos whined. His head was swimming from all of the people, voices, and worry.

"He's not texting back," Logan said. He put his palm to his forehead as if he had a horrible headache and let out a groan of frustration. Just an hour ago James was the only thing keeping him from falling apart and now it was the other way around.

The 2 boys searched the hospital for 20 minutes for signs of James, asking people if they had seen him. They checked the grounds outside, checked the car.

But James was nowhere to be found.

**A/N Yay another chapter done! Where's James? I know where he is! Do you think he's done something reckless, is he off freaking out, or are the boys just not looking hard enough?**

**Please review! I noticed my reviews are kind of lacking in all of my stories like there's a noticeable plummet, which I understand because I haven't had time to review much of anything myself, but I just want to make sure you guys aren't bored of my work! I write for you all so if you want me to change something just let me know! Thanks guys love ya!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Check it out, this story. Lol. Pretty sure 100% of you guys forgot about this one. And so did I. Aha. But I just really want to finish all of my stories, even the ones that have been put on hold for like, ever. I really hope you guys like this :')**

James felt like he was having an almost out of body experience. One moment he was on his way to the cafeteria to find Logan and Carlos, and the next thing he knew, he was staring at Kendall's gored body, lying motionless in a skinny hospital bed, the blood and bruises prominent against the stark white sheets. James didn't even remember going back to Kendall's room. It was like some kind of gravitational pull, telling him to get back to his best friend, and suddenly he was standing at the foot of Kendall's bed in front of the guard railing, just watching him, trying to hold in his near-hysterical emotions.

Hesitantly, James walked around Kendall's bed, trying to ignore the beeping sounds of his heart monitor. He was afraid to even touch the catatonic boy, in fear of breaking his fragile body.

Never taking his eyes off of Kendall, James slowly lowered himself onto the linoleum floor, one knee at a time, as he blinked back tears. He ever so gently took Kendall's pale hand into his larger, trembling one and held it, stroking his cold fingers tenderly, letting Kendall know he was there. Then, James clasped his other hand around Kendall's and bowed his head so his forehead rested on the blonde's fingers, tiny crystal teardrops falling on the hand of his best friend, dampening the skin.

"Kendall I'm begging you… Please wake up," James began to pray in a voice so hushed, if someone were to be in the room with him, they would hardly even hear him. "I'm _begging_ whoever's listening up there… God, if you really do exist, please, let Kendall come back to me now because I can't live without him, I just _can't. _Please heal him. He can't die, not yet. He doesn't deserve it. I'll do anything for him to wake up and be okay. I would do anything to take this all away, so that it never happened, but I know that's impossible so I am begging you, let him wake up. He's the closest thing I have to a brother. Just let him wake up… Don't let him be in pain, God. Please." James finished his prayer with a choked sob and a kiss to Kendall's cold fingers. "_Amen."_

After James finished his prayer, the room was silent for a few minutes. He just stayed with Kendall, holding onto his hand like it was a lifeline for both of them. Quiet sobs overtook his body as he watched his best friend sleep.

-PageBreakin'-

Panic rose up into Carlos' throat as he listened to Logan rant on the phone to Mama K about everything that had happened and how scared they were. She had been notified by the hospital not too long ago that Kendall was in a coma, but she had been on a girls trip with Katie in Las Vegas and was still several hours away.

"I don't know what to do, Mama Knight! Now James is missing and we can't find him!' Logan wailed. "Everything's a mess and you need to come here quickly!"

"I'm driving as fast as I can honey, just calm down," Mrs. Knight cooed over loudspeaker, trying to stay strong for her surrogate sons on the other line. "I'll be there as fast as I can. We all know James has a hard time dealing with things, he just needs some space, baby. Why don't you go on back to Kendall's room and stay with him just in case he wakes up. James wouldn't do anything irrational honey, not when he knows Kendall needs him."

"You're right Mama K," Logan said, calming down a bit. He would feel so much better if James was there with him, but at the same time, James always had a different way with coping with things. He was a strong boy though, and would show up eventually… He hoped.

"I love you boys. Tell Kendall mama's coming soon," Mrs. Knight said. The boys said their goodbyes and headed back to Kendall's room, their arms around each other's shoulders for comfort.

They were not expecting to see James on the floor at Kendall's bedside, clutching the injured boy's hand to his chest and sobbing so hard his entire body quaked.

"James! Are you okay?" Carlos cried out, rushing to James and getting on his knees, wrapping his arms around his crying friend. James seemed startled at first, than leaned into Carlos, scrunching his face against his hoodie.

"James, you scared us half to death buddy," Logan said softly, feeling slightly stupid that he hadn't thought of looking in Kendall's room for his missing friend. He had just assumed he ran off somewhere to get out his anger, not back to the thing one thing that was causing him so much pain.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't leave him alone," James said through his tears, his voice rough with emotion. Carlos closed his eyes and stroked James' hair while rocking him gently, hoping to calm him down a bit.

"He'll be okay, James," Logan whispered, joining Carlos in holding James, so the tall boy was sandwiched between their arms. He buried his face in James' neck and let the tears fall down, dampening the fabric on James' shoulder.

The three boys cried together for a long while, when a new whimper joined their cries. It was a kind of mewling sound, a distressed moan for help. The boys all looked up in unison, wondering what that sound was because they could not believe their ears.

"Kendall," James whispered in shock, watching the blonde boy squirm a tiny bit. When his green eyes fluttered open into tiny slits, he jumped to his feet and this time yelled his name.

"Kendall! Kendall, wake up buddy, it's me," James said, stroking Kendall's hair. He let out another cross between a moan and a cry.

And then let a shrill scream of pain escape his lips.

**A/N Ok so I wanted to actually finish this today, but I can't, so there will be one more chapter ok guys? I hope this was okay. Come here let me give you computer kisses mwaaahhhh.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N thanks for all of the reads and reviews you guys! Lots of love! This is kind of rushed because I didn't have much time to finish it, and I just want to get this done so I can concentrate on finishing other stories. But I hope you like the bromancyness anywho **

Kendall's eyes widened as his scream of grave pain worsened. Carlos and Logan, as well as James, were at his side, grabbing onto his hands and touching his cheek and trying to give him any source or amount of comfort at all.

"Logie, what's happening?" Carlos said with a whimper, clutching Kendall's hand tightly.

"I don't know, James, press the call doctor button," Logan said in an automatic voice.

James just blinked, staring at Kendall in a daze, obviously a little too freaked out.

"Yo, James!" Logan said, snapping his fingers to get James' attention.

"Yeah, ok," James said, realizing Logan was telling him something. He shook his head as if to rid himself of the dazed feeling and reached forward to press the red button.

Kendall's scream had died down, but now he was crying, clutching his head and sobbing.

"Buddy, what's hurting you?" Logan whispered. He knew Kendall's head probably felt like it was about to explode with pain, he just wanted to see if Kendall was responsive or not.

He wasn't. The blonde just curled up into a ball, as if his best friends weren't even there.

"Kendall, look at me buddy. The doctors are coming soon," James said, grabbing Kendall by the wrists and looking into his emerald, pained eyes.

James felt a chill run up his spine when he looked into his best friend's eyes though. Behind the tears, he wore an expression of terror. He looked lost and confused.

"Kendall, what is it buddy?" James said, though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

Before he could get a response, James was pushed aside by a doctor, who immediately started looking into Kendall's eyes with a tiny, bright flashlight and asking questions.

Kendall tried to pull away. He was crying harder now, and it was breaking his friend's hearts into pieces.

"You're hurting him!" Carlos cried. Logan shushed him and told him they have to do their job.

But James was against the wall now, leaning on it for support. He felt dizzy and sick again. Things were going from bad to worse. Yes, Kendall had woken up. Yes, his prayer had been answered, except for one detail: Kendall was in absolute _pain. _But the worst part of it all, was that lost, scared, empty look in his once familiar green eyes. James' stomach flipped knowing that his best friend had no idea who he was.

He had no idea who Carlos and Logan were, either. Kendall was too far away, He was lost in his own world. It was a miracle that he had woken up, and every part of James was thankful, but he had this hope that Kendall would have woken up perfectly fine, perfectly normal.

"He's having a panic attack," One of the doctors announced. James watched as Kendall's breathing became labored and his eyes turned wild, sweat and tears pouring down his mangled face. "Hurry, he knows you, talk to him calmly." The doctor pulled James to Kendall.

"B-but he doesn't remember me," James stammered.

"Try," the doctor told him. "I'm going to give him something to get him to calm down and a breathing treatment. Just talk to him, hold his hand. He needs to stop thrashing around like this, it's only making his injuries worse."

James nodded, looking over to Carlos and Logan for encouragement. They nodded their heads. James reached over to Kendall and squeezed his fingers, but Kendall flinched and jerked his hand away. He was scared of James. To Kendall, James was some big, strong guy who he'd never seen before in his life.

"Kendall, it's me buddy. It's James," the brunet said desperately. "Don't be scared of me, I'm your best friend. How can you not remember?" James bit his lip and took a deep breath. "Please, you have to calm down for me. I know it hurts and you're really scared, but I'm not going to hurt you. You were in a bad accident and you can't remember much, but that's ok. I'm not going to leave you. I'll stay 'til you remember."

By now, Kendall had calmed down considerably. The doctor had given him something to calm him down, plus a pain reliever and muscle relaxer.

"There, that's it," James soothed as Kendall leaned back against his pillows, exhausted. He was still crying, even as the excruciating pain in his skull slowly numbed away. He was staring at James, still confused as to who he was.

"Who are you?" Kendall asked in a broken whisper, sounding like a little boy. James felt like he was punched in the stomach, but he put a small smile on his face and swiped Kendall's sweaty bangs off of his ruined face. For a fleeting moment, James wondered if Kendall would even recognize himself under all those wounds and bandages, but he shook those thoughts away.

"I'm James, your best friend. It's going to be ok, you're alright. Just go to sleep and you'll remember me soon, ok?"

Kendall didn't need much persuasion. He still looked terrified, but his eyelids were heavy, slowly fluttering closed. James continued to stroke his hair gently until his eyelids shut all the way and he fell into a deep sleep.

Kendall slept for hours. Mrs. Knight had come in that evening, flushed faced and frantic to see her baby. It killed James to see her pretty features change into a look of horror when she saw Kendall's bruised face. She rattled off tons of questions to the doctor while running her fingers through Kendall's long hair, the only part of his body that didn't seem to be badly injured. The doctor was quick to assure her that yes, Kendall would be in considerable pain, but he was expected to make a full recovery.

Katie was shocked to see her big brother in that state, and James realized it was the first time he'd ever seen Katie look her age. Instead of a scheming, smart young woman who was too old for her years, he saw a scared little 12 year old. She just sat in James' lap, staring at her brother, lost in her own little world.

Carlos had fallen asleep in Mrs. Knight's lap as if he was a child. But he was small for his age and weighed light, so he fit on her lap perfectly. And Logan was anxious, fidgeting and biting his lip and sighing every so often, just a bundle of nervous energy. They were playing the waiting game again, but a tremendous weight was lifted from James's shoulder this time, because he knew Kendall would wake up again. He might not know who his own family was, but at least he was awake and alive. By some miracle, he had survived that accident, as if he had some sort of guardian angel looking after him.

By 3 AM, the entire room was fast asleep. Even Mrs. Knight was passed out, holding Carlos with one arm and grasping Kendall's hand with her other. Logan had fallen asleep on James' shoulder and Katie on James' lap, but James sat wide awake, watching the steady rise and fall of Kendall's chest. Finally, Kendall's woke up again with a start. He drew in a gasp of air and jolted his body upwards as if he forced himself awake from a nightmare, but the movement made him cry out in pain because of his ribs, which had bruised on impact when he was hit by the car.

"Kendall, Kendall, shh buddy," James said, carefully removing Katie from his lap as to not wake her up so he could rush to Kendall's side.

As soon as Kendall saw James, he burst into tears and, instead of shying away, he leaned into James' embrace and buried his face in his shoulder.

"I-I saw the car coming," Kendall whimpered.

"Ssh, it was just a dream buddy," James soothed softly, holding Kendall tenderly. He was so afraid of hurting him.

"It hurts, James."

"I know, buddy. It'll be better soon, you just have a… A.. Wait a minute, Kendall what did you call me?"

Kendall pulled away from James, confused.

"You called me James. You remember me? You remember what happened?"

"Well yeah," Kendall said, looking around slowly. "I got hit by a car, I remember it. I remember everything. How long was I out, dude?" Kendall suddenly looked scared, as if thinking he was unconscious for days or something.

"Not long," James said, bringing Kendall into a hug. "I'm just so relieved you remember me, I was afraid you wouldn't. You woke up earlier, and you were scared of me because you couldn't remember who I was."

"Oh, James I'm sorry," Kendall said. "I must have been so out of it, dude. You were probably so freaked out. I'm s-"

"No, don't say you're sorry again," James said. "Please… If anything, I should be sorry. H-how're you feeling? Want me to wake your mom?"

"No, no, let them sleep. They've probably been through hell today…"

"Well, does anything hurt? Earlier you woke up, you were in so much pain Kendall…"

"No, I feel kind of loopy and weak and disconnected, a little sore…" Kendall gingerly rubbed his head and noticed his arm was in a cast. He had woken up from a vivid nightmare about the accident, but he realized he had probably just relived it in his dreams. It really was as bad as his nightmare was.

"You're on a ton of pain medicine. You broke your arm and got a bad concussion and you're pretty banged up."

"Yeah, my face feels all numb and swollen," Kendall said, reaching up to touch the bandages on his face, but James caught his hand.

"No, don't touch 'em buddy. You have road rash," James told him.

Kendall blinked. "Road rash? Like… How bad is it, James?"

James looked downwards. "It's kind of bad, buddy. But it will get better."

Kendall leaned his back, letting a couple tears escape his eyes green eyes. James frowned and wiped the tears away with his thumb.

"Kendall…"

"Am I going to look the same again, James? I-I want to see-"

"No, ssh, it's all bandaged right now," James said, trying to avoid Kendall's question. His face would heal up, but James was scared to death that the scars might be there forever, a haunting reminder of the horrible accident he almost lost his best friend to.

Now James was starting to tear up again, thinking about the car slamming into Kendall's small body full force like it had, seeing his lifeless body fly up into the air and come crashing onto the ground, splattering blood. James put his face into his hands. He wished he could erase that image from his mind forever.

"James… W-why are you crying?" Kendall asked, startled.

"Nothing," James said, not wanting to burden Kendall. "You should go back to sleep, you need to rest up."

"No, not while you're crying," Kendall said. He winced when his head gave a jolt of pain. He knew he would need some more pain medicine soon. But first, he had to make sure James was okay. "James, why are you crying? You know I'm okay, right?"

"Yeah, but you almost weren't," James said. "You didn't see it, dude… We all thought you were dead, Kendall. I thought I lost you…" James gave a tiny sob, careful not to wake the others in the room.

Kendall took a deep breath and scooted over a bit on his bed, pain shooting through his body.

"Kendall, don't move… What are you doing?"

"Come here, come lay down," Kendall said. His breaths were coming in a little heavier now because he didn't feel too good.

James did what he was told like he did whenever Kendall used that tone of voice and laid down next to Kendall, putting his head on his chest. Kendall put his good arm around James' shoulder and rubbed his arm soothingly.

"James, don't cry… I'm ok now. I'll heal up."

"You were in a coma, Kendall…"

Kendall was quiet for a moment. He realized he really did put his family through hell, and for that he was sorry.

"It's my fault, Kendall," James said. "All cause of that stupid hockey game, you got hurt. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, James. I could never blame you for this. Stuff like this just happens and I would never blame you for even a second, do you hear me? I love you, ok? And I'm alright. My head is killing me, but I'll be alright…"

"Oh, here," James said, pressing a button the doctor showed him after the first time Kendall had woken up in so much pain. It automatically dispensed pain meds intravenously into Kendall's veins. "This will make you kinda sleepy and weird feeling, but it's better than pain, right?"

Kendall nodded and rested his chin on James' head, already feeling the effects of the medication.

"We'll be ok bro," Kendall said, giving James a squeeze. James snuggled into Kendall and closed his eyes, extremely tired after such an exhausting day. Knowing Kendall would be okay, they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

**A/N That absolutely sucked but I don't even care, I'm just glad my adhd brain finished a story lol! I really just wanted to get it out of the way so I can start new, better ones lol. Reviews are amazing **


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